Monday, 9 August 2010
8/09/2010 03:17:00 am
I swore I will never get anyway close to having a relationship... The world of relationships, it's just so hurting and.. sufferings only. I got close to it once, but never really experience real relationship, yet it hurt me that much that it just so terrible. Well that's why I realized that Being a single rocks more then anything in the world, cause there's nothing like relationships to worry about. I'm a Bachelor. To be a successful Bachelor, I'll have to resist all kinds of temptations that'll lead me getting involved in relationships matters.
But just as much as I don't want to see it, the more it appears. Just like Green Lantern & Hawkgirl, .... And this, some how tried to influence what I'm thinking.. I don't want to live my life in love with someone. I don't want and never will i want.
Then, come this girl into my life - Jiahui. She sat beside me, talked to me first, sends FB game's gift to me first, everything first. So i thought everything will be under controlled, I won't have any feeling for her or anything that'll make me like her. I continued to send her FB gifts, talk to her about bachelorism, but as I continue to talk about bachelors (one thing that she doesn't like), she somehow gets angry or annoyed, and i had this special feeling that i did wrong to her and i want her to continue to talk to me, so I stopped talking about bachelors, to gain more opportunity to talk to her. As we're always competing for table space, she always had her arms on my table to make it her territory. I resisted it and push her arms, trying to claim my table space back. At this very moment, when I touch her, i felt even special feelings inside my heart.. Like i really do like her now...
I don't really want myself to get hurt just because i get near to relationship boundaries. I don't know what she feels about me, and lesson learnt: Never give in to your feelings when you first felt it. It's all up to God's decision and fate now.
Meanwhile I'll just have to resist it even stronger and cage my feelings for her up, for the greater good and freedom foe myself.
Monday, 21 June 2010
6/21/2010 10:55:00 pm
Now I know what i wanted... Relationships is not what i wanted.. All i want is just a normal single life, enjoying carefree and relaxing life. I like my life to be single better, rather then having to worry about your partner. So, I gave up. Yeah i gave up on her, and I pledged upon myself that I'll never go into a relationship at all in my life. First time may just be a infatuation, but it'll get over soon. Now I won't like any other people, nor accept any relationship unless i have feelings for that person too. So i Guess It's my bachelor Life now :D Free heart at last :D
Tuesday, 8 June 2010
Heartache....
6/08/2010 10:49:00 pm
Just a few days ago, I received a SMS from JY, it was devastating.
I asked JY to help me ask Yunting if she does have any feelings for me like she used to have in STC. Yeah I met Yunting in STC, She's a nice girl, quite fun to be with. I facilitate a group together with her, it was also then i discovered her charms. She's cute, very cute and awesomely beautiful. I'm always distracted to her, and always wanted to look at her. Each look at her was so mesmerizing, I couldn't take my eyes off her. I wanted to stare at her for a while longer, but she caught me looking at her, the awkward feeling comes. Guess all these feelings made me realized that I'm in love with her. Well, I do even dream of her sometimes, had a sweet beautiful dream that I was Spending my world and time with her in this lonely quiet outskirts of town with beautiful scenery, Just a wonderland paradise. I'll play with her, and when night comes, I'll star gaze with her in this treehouse, under those brightly shining stars in the velvet sky.
Well all these aren't coming true for me i guess.. JY told me that Yunting doesn't like me anymore after since STC. And maybe that's the reason why she's starting to ignoring my messages. Before she'll always send me smses with smiley faces on it, but now she just ignored me.. guess I really don't have any hope anymore.. Whenever I think of her, in fact everyday all the time, my heart will have this special fast-heart pumping feeling.. She just still can't forget her Ex, which also means she still likes him. So that just add up to the impossibility of Yunting & Me together. I think even if she doesn't like her ex anymore, she won't even like me, i don't know why but i have this feeling... I like her too much till I can't forget about her now. I'm not giving her up, I'll like her always, but on the same time, I'm not going to like any other people now. I've decided, after my love for Yunting, I want to be a bachelor, staying single all my life. Loving somebody else doesn't feel good, especially when you heard that the person you like doesn't like you, it's like an heart attack, it pierces through your heart so deep that it hurts. I don't like this feeling obviously, but I still like Yunting.
How great will it be if Yunting accepted my confession, and both of us go into a relationship? I'll always protect her, and always be in my sweet dreams. Yunting, My love forever...
Guess now i just have to get over her. Just when i thought she'll be the one who will take up the lonely and empty space in my heart...
Friday, 28 May 2010
5/28/2010 01:05:00 pm
My first post after a long long time of blogging break. Well, Mid-year is over, didn't do really that well. Results dropped a lot compared to last year's result, and i failed my Amaths again just as expected.
Well, It's June Holidays now, but i don't really have the spirit for it, seems like i'm not really gonna enjoy the holidays. Holidays has never been much of a holiday to me in Secondary school times. Always holidays are jammed packed with CCA and school+councilor events, of course with the amount of holiday homework you have, you won't get to enjoy the holidays.
SLC is coming, not really anticipating for this camp. SLC is a torture camp, with no meaning at all. You won't get to learn anything except knowing the fact you'll suffer more then the expectations they expect you to have at the end of the camp. Those expectations are just for nice hearing sake. Eventually you'll feel like a dumb dumb going for camp to suffer and after that, nothing else learnt. Well still i have to go, cause there's the younger batches of councilors, it's our duty to help them and guide them, we can't leave them to suffer alone.
Recently, my mind has been troubling quite alot over someone. This feeling doesn't feel good, and ch knows it the best. I've been talking to ch quite alot during the night, he's the only one that i can pour out what's on my mind to, mostly on that stuff.
I can't forget about Yogurt, the one that made me realised a lot of stuffs. I'm really in love with Yogurt. Every night and day, it's would just pop out in my mind, even during my dreams. I want to spend my lifetime with yogurt forever, the best addiction of my life ever.
Sunday, 3 January 2010
2010!
1/03/2010 02:14:00 pm
2009 has been a great and marvelous year for me. Lots happened in 2009 that excites my life alot, and has been a life changing year :D 2009 is really great, and 2009 shall be marked the year of greatness to me, cause it a really special year to me :D Hope 2010 will be a even better year for me! :D Happy New Year! :D
Don't be distracted by past successes, for it'll hold you back from achieving a even greater success. Time to let it go.
Scouts Camp.
1/03/2010 02:02:00 pm
Well this year's scout's camp is way better then last year's. More fun and thrills :D We had abseiling which is so awesome! Then we had Night Cycling too! It was thrilling riding up and down the hill, riding through a very dark monsoon drain. William dropped his pouch down the big and dark and slippery monsoon drain. Eugene helped him to retrieve it. Cool! :D I was half asleep while i rode the bike, cause I'm too tired. Then we stopped by 7-11 for supper, it was great! I felt refreshed and no longer feel like sleeping :D Then third day had C.S.I game, not bad, slacked a lot at ChongHao's. The killer is Chonghao as expected :D After that, we had our Campfire, and invited other UGs, including the councilors. Never expected that I'll be *dragged* out for the dancing competition, and never even expected that I'll be the best dancer with Nigel, The weijun team :D LOL Nigel named it for me. hehehe then Day 4, nothing much actually, did some QM stuffs, eugene errupted, then nothing much exciting happened. LOL! And I got the best Camper again! :D Well let's see if I can achieve the best camper again next year :D Overall, scouts camp is quite fun this year. Went home with American's best and mosquito bites all over, even my butt has some.. LOL itchy itchy scratchy scratchy up and down my backside :D
Saturday, 26 December 2009
12/26/2009 12:04:00 am
Went to the beach just now! Desaru's beach is way more fun then Sentosa.. LOL! hahhahahs! The Wave is so big, it went over my head, and washed me away! Cool! :D Had fun at the beach just now, the big waves came crashing on me, i just sat down on the sand, waiting for the water to crash onto me. hahahs fun! :D Then after that went to the hotel pool to get all the sands in my pants washed off. LOL :D Swam in the pool a while! :D
Cool day today, especially my first time playing in such big waves :D
Friday, 25 December 2009
Thanks God! :D
12/25/2009 03:25:00 pm
This year is really different! I can feel it starting from this year.. Last year was pretty boring, nothing much of excitement happened. But this year, was really a year full of surprises and amazement! :D First of all, I received Christ into my life this year, and life became more and more meaningful to me. I met lots of great friends, a bunch of enthusiastic people, like Ahoyset, my Church mates, the gift of reading team and of course my Scout buddies! :D My life certainly became more interesting with this guys :D I'm really glad that God Blessed me with a harvest of wonders :D
Yesterday is Christmas Eve, and this Christmas was totally Special and different from last few Christmas eves. This Christmas Eve, I had fun with my Church mates, and of course with God! :D Last few years, Christmas eve appeared to be quite dull to me, nothing much to do.. but now that I came to know God, God certainly filled my life with endless wonders and colours that excites my life! Went for Christmas service yesterday at Suntec City, it was really great and fun! Really enjoyed myself like never before i did in the last few Christmas Eves. After that, we took some group pictures with the unit and guess what, I saw Ms Lam! LOL what a coincidence! :D
Then went off earlier, went to City Hall station and waited for Bianche there, cause wanted to bring her for another Christmas Service by my Primary School teacher's Church, FCBC. So I met her at around 7.45pm, then took train to Expo. Went down to hall 10, was abit crowded on the way, cause City Harvest Church was having something on too, but not together. After that met Mr Tan at the entrance, He brought the both of us in and even reserved 2 seats for us! Was really grateful, cause the whole place was crowded with not enough space for other people to enter, yet this 2 empty seats were for us. It was great! I introduced Bianche to Mr Tan, and watched some peformances by the church. Even though only watched the ending, but i can tell that the performance was quite fun. LOL hahahs after the service ended, Mr Tan introduced some of his friends to Bianche and me, was glad to meet them :D hahahs then saw Ms Zhang :D hahas yeah Ms Zhang is from Mr Tan's Church too, and much coincidence that they knew each other :D Yeah Mr Tan told me lots of things that i didn't quite know or realize when I'm small. Well, I can say that now Mr Tan, from teacher and student relationship, God brought us together and made us friends now! :D Yeah I'm really thankful that I had such a great teacher like Mr Tan, who taught me for 4 years. Primary 2 taught me Health Education, and from primary 3 onwards being my form teacher. Yeah Thanks God for this Wonderful teacher! :D Mr Tan then gave Bianche and me a ride. Dropped Bianche at her house and dropped me at Bona Vista, cause they're heading to Holland V which will not be convenient to drop me at Jurong East. So went home at about 11pm +, and packed my stuffs for Malaysia trip. 12am midnight, received lots of Christmas Greetings from all my beloved friends :D Thanks yeah! :D Christmas Eve was special in another way, cause it was the day Bianche became my Godsister! :D High Praise for the Almighty God, Forever and ever! :D
Tuesday, 22 December 2009
What a long week..
12/22/2009 08:26:00 pm
Last Friday went for the Gift Of Reading Camp at Orchard Pyramid, at Goodwood Hill. I met up with Aini and the rest and headed to Orchard Pyramid first. LOL reached there, had nothing to do, and we started playing blackjack while waiting for the rest to arrive. After the rest arrived, they started some Ice-breaking Games while the Games committee, including me, finalize everything for the Amazing Race Game. Then had lunch, and went down to Singapore Arts Museum for some tour around. The Exhibits are cool! :D Very nicely done! After the tour in the Museum, it's time for our Amazing Race. Qiwei and I took a group and we are the I/C's. Supposedly they should figure out everything and clues themselves, but in the end I kept giving lots of advice.. LOL then at some station cheated abit.. but it's ok :D LOL cause everyone had fun. It was quite a long walk around the city area, getting to places and places, it was tiring. We were the second group to arrive at the last checkpoint. But who knows.. maybe the first group did cheated in the game like us too.. hmm :D After that went back to Orchard Pyramid for BBQ dinner :D Clement were cooking the food while I maintained the fire. It was quite fun working with him.. After BBQ had some games together and went to sleep after that.. That's for day 1 :D
Day 2, Rise and shine at 6am, earlier then the rest, cause the waking time is suppose to be 7.30am. Had nothing to do, then found out that Qiwei didn't sleep at all, he was staring at the girls sleeping all the night. LOL! Then I went out to the playgroup to exercise. Qiwei then accompanied me for a morning run down and up the slope. Energized and ate breakfast with everyone. After Breakfast, Peilin and Afred gave us a small little lesson on how to read big books more effectively, like dramatization, and sound effects.. Cool! Then had to leave cause have Service. Bianche followed me and Vijay for the service this time, cause she was interested in the church that I'm attending. So she followed me. Not long after we walked a while, the sky started raining heavily. We took a bus to a stop nearer to Cuppage Plaza. When we reached the stop, there was no shelter and it was still raining heavily, and I'm afraid that if she got wet in the rain, it'll be cold for her when we reached Nexus Auditorium, cause it was air-conditioned. So I asked Vijay to use his coat to shield her from the rain. I have to cover my book from the rain, so can't take out my jacket. We faced the rain and walked towards Nexus. Waited for Dequan and the rest to arrive, before we go in together. Once inside, we had our special " Who Killed Christmas" skit by the church youth team. It was about a guy called Christ Ma An Siang, which in short, ChirstM.A.S. Yeah cool name! :D He was dead and had to find out who the killer is. But the ending was crappy.. The result will only be released on wordpress later on.. which means we have to check ourselves. Then had normal lessons. After the service ended, I brought Bianche to buy food at the foodcourt that we always go buy food at. Actually we're not suppose to buy food first, cause we are going to have some West Huddle games, but we got out of camp empty stomach, and so was afraid that she will get hungry. So asked Vijay and Bianche to buy their food first. Then went to eat at Istana Park, and played with the West Unit together. LOL found out that Jeffery was in the same church too! Cool! :D LOL. After the games, the 3 of use decided to went back to the camp. We walked back.. Had lots of fun while walking back, Vijay went to take balloons in Somerset 313; we spotted Santa and his Elf, LOL and went to take a group photo together. It was really fun :D LOL the picture is cool! Then headed back, joked a lot on the way. When we reached Orchard Pyramid, Mdm Phua's lesson just nice ended, and we took a group photo together. After that jumped into the pool for a relaxing swim and play! Camp up at about 9pm, took a long long hot bath! hahaha so comfortable! That night was also the night when someone gave me words of affirmation! It was really touching, cause she was the first one to say those words of affirmation to me! No one did that before. I feel so elated that, i couldn't sleep till 3am. I lied down and listened to Worship songs, expressing my heartfelt gratitudes to God, For he made my prayers come true! I prayed for a fun weekend, and i really did had fun with one of my best dude [Vijay] and one of my loveliest friend [Bianche] together :D Then Day 3 came.
Day 3, woke up late, cause i was very tired.. Nothing much actually, had some group activities, and planning for Next year's lesson. After that, jumped into the pool again! :D hahahhas it was fun, yeah cause throughtout i tried to use a pole that i found as a paddle and paddle my way on the water, and i was on a float. LOL it was fun :D Night came and we went to eat at Lucky Plaza i think. Saw Lai Yi Ling, a celebrity. LOL after we ate, went straight home.
Monday had First Aid Course. The lesson was fun, lol the trainer loves to joke! :D hehehe he makes lesson interesting! Wednesday, which is tomorrow, will the day of the test, and one that separates me from a 4-year certification to exucute first aid, and a certain fail for the test. Well just wish me goodluck! :D
And one more thing, I am seriously disgusted at this person who he thinks he is big and cool, but actually in fact, he's one disgusting failure. Yeah a Failure who thinks the others is a bunch of failure. No, we're not like him, not a failure like him. He couldn't even do his job well.. Seriously disappointed with him. One simple job, he throws everything to his partner, and in the end knew nothing.. And this ignorance of his, resulted the rest of us have to cover the hole he made. Just where is the funds? Don't tell me the notes have got legs to run away.. So now everyone have to pay more, even those who paid already have to pay again? That's crap.. Never mind.. This kind of person, Karma will fall upon him. Just forget about it.. and hopes that he won't hold that any of *important* jobs in the future, or else nothing good will be harvested, since he proved his unworthiness even when we gave him lots of chances to change for the better. All those words that came out from his mouth, all were just good to hear only, never even make the effort to achieve those that he said. What a BIG BIG liar too.. Sometimes i even wonder how this kind of person can get into this organization where everyone needs to play a part, and obviously he is not doing it. This kind of person, just spoils everything.. What a big bunch of lies had been said, and still expecting people to believe him in whatever he says? No no no.. He shall just go hide one corner and better don't show his face in front of us, for he's one big humiliation to our organization, what a useless guy..
Tuesday, 8 December 2009
12/08/2009 01:27:00 am
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun. Extraversion results were low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive. |
trait snapshot:
introverted, secretive, reclusive, tough, non social, observer, fearless, solitary, libertarian, detached, does not like to lead, outsider, abides the rules, mind over heart, good at saving money, does not like to stand out, does not make friends easily, self sufficient, not aggressive, likes the unknown, unconcerned with external opinion, strong, abstract, independent, very intellectual, analytical, high self control
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